Wordless Wednesday- Luke Loves Pasta

For more pictures on this Wordless Wednesday, visit Hobo Mama.

Self Portrait: Shadows

Think, I love me just the way I am

Elements of Self at Shakti Mama

I don't have anything special to say this time.  But I did have fun taking the shadow pics...

This one is me and my sweet baby in our house.  I used the lights inside to take these and have a little fun.  Can you see Luke's curlies in the back of his head?

 This is me drinking a glass of wine (that I actually only had one drink of because by the time I got to the rest of it I didn't feel like it) and I usually have beer but we were out...

 This is me kissing my husband :D  awww so sweet.

This is me, outside at these food cart things by my friend Usa's house.  I think her head is the one that is lower.  It looks like I'm wearing a dress, but in fact, it's basketball shorts.

This is our shadows.  Me and my little nursling. 

Relaxing and doing nothing

Yeah, I wish I was relaxing and doing nothing.  Unfortunately that's not the case.  I've been busy lately.  But I always wonder to myself, am I capable of doing nothing?

I've been reading the book Eat, Pray, Love and the woman is on a journey for a year.  Part of the year she is spending in Italy for pleasure.  Just to relax and enjoy herself.  She talks about how she has a hard time just doing nothing.  She always has to have something to accomplish or do.  She also talks about how that is an American culture thing.

I am just like that.  Sometimes I measure days in 'how much I got done'.  Sometimes I think the day is worthless unless I accomplished certain things.  I know as a stay at home mom, I often hear of people saying, 'I can't wait till they go to sleep so I can get something done'.  I say it too, maybe I can get something done when Luke naps.  Or when my husband gets home maybe I can finally do something.  But I hate that.  Why am I always trying to do something.  When my son naps, why can't I just feel like napping, resting, reading or praying is 'accomplishing something'.

I even noticed this when I was working as an electrical engineer at my job.  People work lots of hours, try to do lots of things, just to show that they are good at what they do.  Its the American Way to always want to do more, get more done, be busy.  And that is how we see people, those who can do so many things and many things at once are better employees.

Of course, there are times when you have to do get something done or your house will explode with messiness.  But maybe getting things done shouldn't be the measurement of greatness of the day.  When will playing with a ball outside or laying down on a bed and staring at the wall equal millions of house chores and tasks?

I hope I can take some advice from the book and stop having the idea that life is measure upon getting things done.  Take some time today to just enjoy life.

Wordless Wednesday- He's Getting So Big!

Car Seats

I don't like when people keep their babies in car seats like it's a portable bed. I see people have the baby in the car seat in the shopping cart, in the doctors office, at parties, in the weirdest strangest places.

I did it before. Before I knew any better.  But, not that often.  Not to places I see people having their kids in car seats now.  When I have my next baby,  I hope to always have him be close to me or Dad in a sling.

I think babies need to be held more.  From my experience with Luke, they are always happier in arms, close with his mother.  Close to where he was the nine months before.  The soothing sound of my heart beat and the warm touch of my skin.

What makes it so difficult to put a baby in a sling when you arrive at a store?  And, if you are leaving your baby in a car seat and when they start to fuss or cry, why do you do everything you can to keep them in that car seat.  Just take them out and hold your baby!  (ok ok, I know sometimes if they are napping, it's hard to take them out and I'm sure it's ok... but I'm talking about the people who over do it.)

I feel sad when babies are lugged around in the car seat.  I wonder what it's like to be nuzzled against plastic instead of your Mommy.

Praise and Manipulation... again

I wrote about this before but I wanted to touch on it again.

I hate praise.  But I think I understand it a little better.  I don't hate praise so much as I hate manipulation.  There's a difference, here it is.

Luke puts a dish away in the dish washer after I asked him by saying 'lets put our breakfast plates in the dishwasher'.  He does it.  I say 'thank you for putting your dish away'.

That is praise.  Everyone deserves it.

I say to my husband after dinner when he ever so kindly cleans up the kitchen while I nurse Luke to sleep... 'thanks for cleaning up the rest of the dishes'.  That is normal.  That is the kind way to treat someone after they have helped you do something.  Or just to acknowledge that they work hard for you.  So that the feel appreciated.  Maybe some don't need that to do things that they see need to be done.  And, it isn't exactly needed.  But isn't it nice when someone recongizes that you spent a little extra time doing something, especially your family?


Manipulation.  *In a high pitch baby voice* 'Luke, thanks for putting the dishes away!  You're so helpful!  Thanks for being such a good helper.  You're so good!!'  Manipulating him into thinking that he's really going to get this special attention every time he does something of my approval.  Something that he's going to expect every time.  It's over done.  It's so over done that he's going to seek that huge approval for everything.  And when he's older and actually treated like another human, he's going to realize that we don't do that any more.  That adults don't talk like that.  That he's going to have to find other ways to seek that kind of attention from me.  I don't want that kind of attention to be used to teach him to what I want him to do. I don't want that used to manipulate him.  

I want him to see a need that the dishes need to be off the table and put away.  Not just doing it for love from his mother.  He can get the love and attention when he needs it.   And most of all I want to treat my son like he's a person, not my slave or a lesser than me.  He's as equally valuable as me.  As my lovely neighbor, Lisa_C, said once, parents aren't the dictators, they are more like leaders.   My goal isn't to have my son put dishes away.  My goal is to enable him to be the person he is meant to be and to help him along the way.

I'm sure I'm going to learn more about this as he grows.  But for now this is what I've learned. 

Wordless Wednesday- Luke's New Kitchen

(this one is my favorite, his baby butt is so cute)

(the kitchen is from ikea.  we had a gift card with some money left on it, so I used it to buy this.  He loves it)