Thursday, March 1, 2012

The Stay at Home Mom

I've  been a stay at home mom now for almost three years.  I have noticed a lot in these three years.
1. Some mom's I talk to or follow on facebook seem to use house chores as a way of feeling accomplished and
2.  Most stay at home moms think that the house chores are all of their responsibility.

I've heard things like 'oh finally the kids are  napping I can actually get something done' or listing off this large amount of chores they will or have accomplished that day.  Some moms have mentioned that they have to clean so they can justify staying home (along those lines).  As much as I sometimes fall into that mind set I feel that it's just not right.

As a stay at home mom, my role is to take care of the kids.  That's why I'm staying home.  If I worked, kids would go to day care.  The day care people would not be cleaning my house.  They would only be caring for my kids.  So, if I were to send my kids somewhere else the house would still be messy.   So how did the stay at home mom some how get the all day task of watching kids AND cleaning the whole house?

Now, I will admit that its easy to do some chores while at home.  And that some times it's a matter of that it's the deal between the husband and the wife-- I'll clean the bathrooms if you mow and water the lawn.  And sometimes for me anyway, its easier that I wash the diapers or start and do laundry because I'm home. And sometimes I have time to do more and do it because it needs to be done.  But that doesn't mean that my husband shouldn't also have chores too.

Once and a while I feel that if I finish cleaning the kitchen or clean the bathroom I can mark the day as productive.  But the reason I feel that mind set is wrong is because as a stay at home mom my job is to take care of the kids.  Did I take care of the kids?  Did I play with them?  Did they get fed?  Did I take care of their needs?  And are they alive?  Well, yes, then your stay at home mothering job is COMPLETE.  Seriously.  That is the accomplishment of the job.  Anything else is extra!  I just don't like that thinking that chores equal a successful day.  Moms should more often think about what quality of life they are giving their kids and feel accomplished! 

For me lately, I have been measuring my accomplishments by opportunities to serve my vocation.  What can I do to become a better mother?  For me it's working on being more patient.  So I can ask myself questions like... Was I patient with my kids today while they were learning?  Was I patient when they thought something wasn't fair?  Then if I answer no I could think of ways I could change.  Now, that's accomplishing something. 

What are your roles at home?  And what helps you feel accomplished?