A birth story

May 24

I knew I would have the baby today or tomorrow. I just felt like it. I was having mucus, more than ever almost like I would be starting to loose my mucus plug.
I
Luke and went to get smoothies and we dropped one by Ben's work. He wanted us to come inside and see his work. It was a good time, he had been preparing to take time off and had been handing off projects so he wasn't too busy. We had never toured his work before. Even though I hadn't showered and didn't really feel like meeting a bunch of people I decided that we might as well. We walked his building and a bunch of other ones. I was having contractions.

That night Ben came home, we ate dinner and walked to a near by park. I wanted to walk a little to try and have the baby. I had contractions but nothing huge, nothing like labor. Then I got crazy. I wanted to go to the store at almost 10 to get some food then when we got back I cleaned the kitchen and finished laundry. I freaked out about the house being messy and my husband and son started cleaning the floors. We did that until Luke wanted to nurse down for bed. Looking back we stayed up too late. It was about midnight when we all got settled in bed.

May 25

3am- I woke up, Luke wanted to nurse. I was having noticable contractions. I knew i would be in labor by morning. But I went to the bathroom and then went back to bed to rest.

6:30- I woke up to a contraction I think. I went to the bathroom. Bloody show. This was it. Then another contraction. I woke Ben up telling him I was in labor. At first he just went back to sleep but then I woke him up a few minutes later saying the contractions were labor ones. He got up and got things ready.

I had been timing each contraction. They were about 5 minutes apart. Some of them were getting pretty uncomfortable.
We decided to call the midwife around 8:30 so she knew she would be coming to my house instead of driving to her office. I told Ben to tell her not to hurry. She asked to talk to me and I remember her asking if I could talk through contractions, I said not really. Then she asked if I felt like pushing. I said no. She was making sure she didn't need to hurry.
In between 6:30 and the time Ben called my midwife I think i got in and out of the shower twice. The heat felt really good on my back. It just helped a lot early on. I did the shower on and off for a while. The contractions were very uncomfortable at this point.

Luke woke up at about 9:30. Ben was trying to get the birthing pool ready so we distracted him with the big pool that was all the sudden in our room so that he wouldn't nurse and make contractions come harder.  They worked on setting up the pool while I labored.  I wanted that pool set up so bad.  I watched in between each contraction Ben and Luke going in and out of the room.  They had the pool blown up but the connector that connected the hose to the faucet broke.  Ben said he needed to go to the hardware store.

The midwife arrived at 10ish.  Ben and Luke decided to leave to go to the hardware store and burgerville to get breakfast for themselves.  I was fine with that since my midwife was there.  I also had Ben call his parents to come so they could help with Luke.  I asked them to bring saltines and cottonelles.
Before they left she asked if I wanted to be checked just to see where I was at in labor.  I decided to.  5cm!  I was happy to hear that... I was expecting that I wasn't too far along since my labor was so long with Luke.

While they were gone I went from shower to bed, shower to bed and toilet.  I can't remember what time it started at, but I had bad diahrrea all morning (my body clearing out to have the baby).  I didn't remember having diahrrea that bad with Luke.  My midwife prepared everything for the baby to come out in the dinning room so I was by myself for about half hour.  I was ok with that until the last 10 minutes or so that they were gone, I really wanted Ben there. 

Ben and Luke got back with the shower connector and they started filling up the birthing pool.  I laid in bed until the pool got filled up.  The contractions were really strong at this point.  I was really looking forward to being in the pool.  Luke watched a movie (Kipper) on the computer when I got into the pool.  For the next three hours I sat in the pool.  The contractions were all intense while in the pool.  Ben applied counter pressure for all of them, except if he left the room the nurse that came with the midwife did it.
At some point I was checked again which always hurts like crazy but I wanted to know.  I was 6-7.  Almost there.

After that it was painful.  I kept reminding myself to breathe through each one.  Then just really rest in between.  I got to the point where my body was producing that hormone where you get REALLY sleepy in between.  I would just about fall asleep then the contraction would start again.

Then I got to the point where I thought I couldn't do it.  It hurt so bad, I breathed in and out and whimpered 'no, no, no'.   To the 'no, no, no' my midwife would say, you want this it's going to help your baby come.  I wanted to tell her to stop staying that but I didn't have the energy lol.  (it's funny thinking back on it, I love my midwife, but at the time I just hated that she thought the pain was 'good') They kept checking the baby's heart rate every now and then during the contractions but during these ones I batted the nurse's hand away because I just didn't want anyone touching me.  I thought just that little extra feeling on my stomach would just put me over.

Contractions got really strong.  The only reason I hung in there was because, well, I didn't have a choice, but also that I read somewhere when you can't take it anymore, you are almost there.  I was struggling through them now... just trying to breath and doing my best to relax.

At this point my midwife suggested that I get out of the pool.  I was thinking 'WHAT?!?'.  She said I was right there and if I went into a squatting position I could probably have the baby pretty soon.  So after stalling for a few more contractions I got out.  Ben sat in a chair and I sat on his lap.  Then when the contraction came I would stand in a squatting position leaning on one of the nurses with Ben holding me and providing counter pressure from behind.  My gosh, it hurt so bad to squat like that but I could tell it was working.  I tried to stick it out for a few more.  I think I made it though about 10 when I told my midwife I needed to rest.  She actually reached up to see where the baby was.  It was incredible painful.  She said there was a little small section of my cervix right in the way.
So I got on my hands and knees, then rested with my arms, head and chest on the bed with my knees on the ground.  I did that for a few more contractions and my midwife wanted me to squat again.  I said no.  I must have said it pretty sternly because she keeps laughing about how I told her no.  I stayed there.  She told me that if she could just push the cervix out of the way during a contraction that I would feel the need to push.  I said ok.  But once the contraction came I didn't want her near me.  She did it anyway.  It worked!  The baby was right there.  I think she asked me if I wanted to squat again, to which I said no again.  So I pushed there.  I could feel the baby in my lower pelvis.  It felt like a huge poop putting a lot of pressure there, but like 1000 times more.  It felt like a bowling ball was there.  I pushed again, then head came out and I could feel it.  Then it went back up again.  It hurt so bad to push, but it hurt so bad in between contractions I knew I had to really focus on the next one to push.  The next one came, her head came out.  My midwife said push again.  I gutted up, pushed again and birthed my baby.  At 4:32pm Taryn was born.  9lbs, 4oz.  21inches long. The relief was so great I can't even describe how it all goes away in an instant.

The baby came out, my midwife caught her and gave her right to me.  It was beautiful.  I felt the rush of emotions that I didn't feel when I had an epidural.  Had I not been as tired I think I would have cried.  It was so emotional.  I held her until it was time to cut the cord.   It took about five minutes for the cord to stop pulsing.  Then Ben cut it.  The midwife wiped the baby off and I laid in bed and held her.  I waited and nursed her when she started rooting.  She latched on and we nursed until she got tired and fell asleep.  My husband was out of the room at this time telling his parents and Luke that the baby was born.  Once the baby fell asleep Ben came back in and they weighed her and did all that stuff they do while I showered.  Then I got out of my shower and got back into my bed.  Once I was in bed Ben came back in, took the baby and Luke came in.  I held Luke and we showed him his new little sister.  He took it all in.

My midwife or a nurse brought me some almond butter, and apple, a lara bar, and something else.  I polished it all off.  Then my inlaws brought me a double cheese burger.  I ate that very easily and was still hungry.  Birthing takes a lot of energy.  I can't remember what else we had.

My in laws came in and held the baby and talked to me.  Have I mentioned that it was so nice to be in my own space?  Well, it was.

My midwife and the nurses cleaned up everything, washed all the sheets, threw everything away, and put away the pool during my shower.  My room looked cleaner than it did the night before.

Then everyone left.  We were alone, just Ben, Luke, Taryn and I.  We just hung out the rest of the evening and went to bed.

I loved birthing at home.  It was painful, but it was worth it.  I kept asking myself if I'd do it again at home.  I would.

Baby Taryn is here

Taryn was born on May 25th at 4:32pm, at home, and she weighed 9lb 4oz and was 21 inches long.

right after birth

She was born on my dad's birthday.  It was pretty special since my dad and I are so close... and I almost had Luke on my dad's birthday (his is May 23rd).  He was just so excited.

This is my favorite picture.  The first time he asked to hold her.  

Taryn looks almost identical to Luke when he was a baby.  Sometimes my husband and I accidentally call her Luke especially in the middle of the night when we're tired. 

I loved my birth.  I'll have to write it down soon before I forget.  I'm really happy I choose to deliver at home.  It was a nice transition.  And, I feel way  better after this labor/delivery then I did with Luke.  I just feel like I'm recovering quicker. 

I suppose I could have blogged sooner but my husband has taken two weeks off work (tomorrow is his last day) and I just didn't want to spend much time on the actual computer.  I've just been using my iphone and I really think this is the second time I've been on it.   Oh, and we've had our hands full with two little ones I just haven't had much time.  I just wanted to write a quick one saying that she's here and we're one big happy (sleep deprived) family of four (and six if you count the cat and dog).

News and thoughts with fears

I'm 5 weeks and two days pregnant, according to my iPhone pregnancy app. I'm excited. Though i always feel like it's hard to get as excited as the people i tell. I just can't get really excited over and over with out it being fake.
I mean, i am excited. I wanted to have kids close in age. I always wished i had a brother or sister. But there are so many things I'm concerned about.
My main concern is breastfeeding Luke. I wanted to nurse him until he naturally weans. I mean, i know i can nurse through pregnancy and beyond but i am worried it won't work out. There's always the change in milk, the decreased amount of milk, etc etc. My son is a comfort nurser, and my husband re-assures me that he needs to nurse and would probably nurse even if there was no milk at all. But I still want all the benefits if nursing for him.
Which leads me to my next concern and idea- I've never left Luke somewhere much less over night, he woud be fine for a litte bit at a friends or family but a hospital birth is out of the question since he still wakes up to nurse in the night and nurses to sleep most nights. And I really don't want to push that until I know he's ready. (I know some will think that is crazy but it's how we parent). For this reason and for my always wanting to have a home birth, I am going down that road, which is probably also just as popular as tandem nursing lol.
Anyway, I suppose most of my blog posts from here will be about this. I couldn't remember a thing from my pregnancy with Luke so I'm hoping to record more about it this time.
So far I'm feeling pretty good. I am seeing spots in my eyes sometimes, like an ocular migraine with out the headache. My. Midwife says it's the blood flowing other places that my head. I'm wondering if its lack of caffiene. (still driking some coffee but trying to cut back. Or that i need to drink and eat more to support pregnancy AND nursing. Either way, it's been a few days since i've seen spots! My lower back hurt a lot yesterday. But other Than those observations everything is going well. Even nursing is going ok, no sore breasts yet, even though I'm parinoid in wondering if my milk tastes different yet, so far so good.
I look forward to seeing how everything plays out. Prayers are greatly appreciated for baby and Luke and for me, and i suppose my loving husband who is just so kind in taking over more chores and things so i can rest, even though i don't feel like i need to yet.
Anyway, I'll write more about the home birth and my midwife later. Time for my limited amount of coffee... now!