I'm 5 weeks and two days pregnant, according to my iPhone pregnancy app. I'm excited. Though i always feel like it's hard to get as excited as the people i tell. I just can't get really excited over and over with out it being fake.
I mean, i am excited. I wanted to have kids close in age. I always wished i had a brother or sister. But there are so many things I'm concerned about.
My main concern is breastfeeding Luke. I wanted to nurse him until he naturally weans. I mean, i know i can nurse through pregnancy and beyond but i am worried it won't work out. There's always the change in milk, the decreased amount of milk, etc etc. My son is a comfort nurser, and my husband re-assures me that he needs to nurse and would probably nurse even if there was no milk at all. But I still want all the benefits if nursing for him.
Which leads me to my next concern and idea- I've never left Luke somewhere much less over night, he woud be fine for a litte bit at a friends or family but a hospital birth is out of the question since he still wakes up to nurse in the night and nurses to sleep most nights. And I really don't want to push that until I know he's ready. (I know some will think that is crazy but it's how we parent). For this reason and for my always wanting to have a home birth, I am going down that road, which is probably also just as popular as tandem nursing lol.
Anyway, I suppose most of my blog posts from here will be about this. I couldn't remember a thing from my pregnancy with Luke so I'm hoping to record more about it this time.
So far I'm feeling pretty good. I am seeing spots in my eyes sometimes, like an ocular migraine with out the headache. My. Midwife says it's the blood flowing other places that my head. I'm wondering if its lack of caffiene. (still driking some coffee but trying to cut back. Or that i need to drink and eat more to support pregnancy AND nursing. Either way, it's been a few days since i've seen spots! My lower back hurt a lot yesterday. But other Than those observations everything is going well. Even nursing is going ok, no sore breasts yet, even though I'm parinoid in wondering if my milk tastes different yet, so far so good.
I look forward to seeing how everything plays out. Prayers are greatly appreciated for baby and Luke and for me, and i suppose my loving husband who is just so kind in taking over more chores and things so i can rest, even though i don't feel like i need to yet.
Anyway, I'll write more about the home birth and my midwife later. Time for my limited amount of coffee... now!