Tuesday, April 6, 2010

A book I love

I have been reading 'Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing' by Sheila Kippley. It was recommended on Cave Mother's blog. Sheila is a Catholic Author who founded Natural Family Planning International with her Husband John. With the excessive amount of information I've read about NFP, I've never heard of this book until I heard about it on her blog. So I was excited to find another resource. It seems as though there is lots of NFP information (the easy part) but not as much about after childbirth.
Anyways, I haven't gotten to much NFP yet but I absolutely LOVE the parenting view in this book. Particularly chapter 5, 'Schedules, Sitters, and Social Life'. It talks about how nature designed Mother and Baby to be together as one and how scheduled feedings and baby sitters disrupt this natural togetherness. She talks about how in Africa, most mothers are with their babies up until 15 months old vs our culture where there is a huge need for parents to 'get away' from their babies. 'It is obvious that nature intended mother and baby to be one. In fact, a nursing mother who gives her total love and care for her baby will experience a relationship that she may never have with other persons.' (pg 38) Then the book goes on to say 'It apears that some of our cultural theories care lack common sense and feelings. Mothers sometimes are told that they should let their baby cry, that it is good to frustrate the baby. The baby seems to be looked upon as a 'thing' with out feelings, almost lacking any human rights to be heard, understood and loved.' I love quotes from books like this where I actually feel like they way I feel about my baby is normal. I have a really strong urge to not be separated from my baby. (with the exception of a little bit when Ben watches him and I go for a jog, or to eat icecream in the living room) But getting a baby sitter, even if it was family, feels really strange to me still. I know that is so counter cultural and probably who ever reads this is going to think 'get over it, you have to leave sometime'. While I do appreciate Luke's long naps where I can play on the computer or watch tv, I feel that it's my natural instinct to want to be with him. And there will be a sometime when we will separate, it won't be now. He really needs his mom, and I really need him.
'Could it be that the abrupt severing of the physical relationship between mother and baby that is so common today is responsible in some way for the impared relationship between many of our young people and their parents?' (p 50)


Lisa C said...

I love that last quote. I feel you have to start with a strong bond and then keep fostering that bond throughout all of their childhood and adolescence. It's easy when they are babies. Their need for you is so obvious, and they love to be held so much that feeding the bond is so simple. I remember when I felt like I was missing a limb if Michael was sleeping in the other room. Now he is more independent (yup, my super-clingy baby is becoming independent all on his own without any intervention from me!), so now I have to pay more attention for opportunities to connect with him.

vercfamily said...

i couldn't agree more with you. i have a 16 month old who still nurses on demand and gets up at least once at night to nurse. although he does sleep in a crib in his own room, we otherwise do eco breastfeeding. and i cannot imagine being away from him. i could go on and on, but from what little i have read of your blog we have a lot in common about parenting, breastfeeding, etc.