Thursday, April 29, 2010

Slow start.

For some reason Luke slept in until 10 this morning. I have no idea why, just tired I guess. Usually he wakes up between 8:30 and 9 and sometimes he'll sleep till 9:30. Thursday morning is always my moms group that I try to go to which starts at 10:30. I had to go today because I was meeting another mom to talk about swimming plans for tomorrow. So I rushed around, got Luke ready, got dressed and of course made coffee and took it to go. We got there a little late but in perfect time. Luke loved it and played as usual while I talked to the other moms there.
Then it was time to go. We went out to the car and Luke did not want to sit in his car seat. This has been happening more frequently since he's really been teething bad in the last couple of weeks. So we sat there in the car for a while. I nursed him a little. He stood and looked at the window waving at people. I kept putting him in the car seat but he kept standing up in it and insisting that I take him out. Usually I can wait him out, but not today.
So we went back in the store.

We walked around. I was starving since I hadn't had anything in the morning because we were so rushed. I got a sandwich. We went to the eating area where I saw a friend from church and her two kids. We talked with them for a while but Luke was getting ready to leave and getting a little fussy. So back to the car we went. He stood for a while but eventually sat down and we went home. We got home, he was tired. We played for a while but then I decided to walk him around in the ergo carrier outside. We got out there not more than 50ft from our house and it started raining. We went home. I walked a little around the house. We laid down and nursed and he passed out. He's still passed out now :)

When Luke doesn't want to get in his car seat I wait it out. I don't want to force him in and make him cry. In fact, the car has always been bad for us. He doesn't like it. He's better now but he doesn't like it. I pull over when he looks like he might be getting upset. I don't let him cry in the back there all alone (unless it's impossible to pull over). I know I parent different than what is supposed to be normal. I feel weird. Weird because I do everything different. There's not even a crib set up in our house. He eats himself, choosing what he wants, never forced. He wears training pants because we EC and I take him to the bathroom when he has to go. He's never cried himself to sleep. I carry him everywhere, especially when he was little, and still do and feel sad when I put him in the stroller because he's so far away. I stay close to him in case he needs me. I'm still nursing (11 months) and have NO plans on stopping any time soon. I feel weird. I feel like I'm alone. I mean, I know I'm not. I have my neighbor, who is so much more supportive to me than she probably knows. I have a great online community of similar like minded moms. But I still feel alone sometimes. Mostly because I don't really feel a connection with most Moms. I always feel 'different'.


Lisa C said...

I feel alone in my parenting when I'm at church. In my big family, I have one sister who parents a little bit the same, and I'm so glad for that. I'm glad for the people I've met through diaperfreebaby and the parenting group. But I'm still glad I have ONE person who really understands the way I parent. It really does make a difference!

So sorry about the car issue. One day he'll decide it's not so bad, and he's gotta get tired of the standing thing at some point! I think it's very respectful of you not to force him.

h. butler said...

Oh my gosh I know what you mean. I'm so glad we are able to connect sometimes. I wonder if the three of us, you me and Lisa should get together too?

Pickle said...

Yes! I bet she would love to. Luke is getting over being sick... so is Lisa and Michael I believe. So maybe next week. I'll start an email with you guys :)