To lay down your life

I was listening to this homily from the daily Mass on EWTN in the car while running errands today.  I didn't even get to hear the whole thing until I came home and replayed it.

The priest started off talking about love.  Then hate.  And how anger is often the manifestation of hate.  Then he said this quote from Saint JoseMaria Escriva that really hit me.

“Force yourself, if necessary, always to forgive those who offend you, from the very first moment. For the greatest injury or offence that you can suffer from them is as nothing compared with what God has pardoned you”


Wow.  Then he goes on to say that when you get angry, it happens and that situation is gone and most of the pain or suffering is what you inflict on yourself.  But if you just forgive right away, even out of force, you are taking a part of the suffering of Christ. 

And that's when I realized that sometimes I let things fester, sometimes I let them go, but sometimes they fester.  The anger festers.  The anger that leads me to hate and the hate that is the opposite of love.  If God is love, then hate is the Devil.  So I am letting the Devil work in trying to destroy relationships and friendships.  Then I have a choice.  Do I want to let the Devil inch into my life because of my humanness to not be able to forgive right away?  No I don't.  How easy it would be to just love like God and forgive.  What a sacrifice sometimes to just forgive.  It would also be very humbling but very pleasing to God.  Jesus says to love is to lay down your life for your brother.  If I can't humbly forgive then I can't love.

I pondered this all day.  I thought about all the times I've been angry at my husband or my kids.  That is the Devil trying to inch into my life, trying to get me to hate and fester anger.  And just like that I would be down the wrong path.  I want to live in the light of Christ.  I want love to be there instead of anger because love never fails.

7 Quick Takes Friday...3

-1-

I had pizza tonight.  I don't know why, I had been craving it for a while.  We eat mostly primal but for some reason I just wanted bread.  My stomach hurt today and yesterday and I always feel like some kind of bread when it hurts.  Maybe to soak up acid.  Though, it always makes me feel worse.  Anyway, the pizza was sooo good.  But, oh boy will I probably pay for it.  Luke is obsessed with it so I'm glad we never have it.

-2-

I saw my midwife today.  She visits me at my house most of the time, unless she's busy Friday, then I have to go up to her office which is about 40 minutes away.  She was half hour early for the appointment today.  She pulled up to the house right as my husband got home from work.  He usually takes a work break for about a half hour before the appointment just to help me pick up everything and helps with Luke.  He texted me 'Midwife is here. I am not kidding.'  At the exact moment I heard the text and read it, I saw out the window that her car was here.  PANIC.  I just had my night gown on which is pretty revealing since it's a nursing night gown, and Luke had no pants on.  We were in the middle of cooking bacon.  I ran back to the bedroom to change and to get Luke ready and my husband had let her into the house and turned off the stove.  I guess it's not that big of deal since she'll see me give birth.  But I was totally not expecting her that early.  And I'm not sure who got the time wrong, I thought I had it written down right, but I also had the time wrong on another one a few weeks ago.  Oh well.

-3-

We got to talk to our priest friend yesterday.  We chatted with him for half hour.  I can't remember the last time we have talked to him on the phone/in person.  He was really excited to hear that we are about to have another baby.  He suggested to ask our priest for the Catholic Book of Blessings and to pray the blessing for a new baby and to consecrate her to Jesus through the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
He also asked us how our marriage was doing.  I was just telling Ben that day that I couldn't imagine being married and not having kids right away.  Having a child has been such a blessing to our marriage.  Even though we've had some tiring nights and long days, I just don't even know what we'd do together with no kids.  I suppose we would have found something...

-4-

 

 The dog and cat both slept in the bed one afternoon for nap time this week.  I couldn't believe it.

Pickle staring down Misu

Misu sleeping

Both together.  It's hard to see since I had to take the picture while Luke was sleeping on my arm.

Technically they weren't both on the same bed, since we cosleep and have two beds pushed together.  But that was a lot closer than its every been.

 

-5-

 

We got poop keychains as part of a gift from our friends, Luke's godparents.  We exchanged our Christmas presents just a few days ago (yeah I know really late).  

This is sort of an inside joke with some of my close friends... and I'm not really sure how it started... well, ok maybe I do.  But anyway, my husband proudly put his on his key chain.  I asked him, what are you going to do when someone asks what those are at work.  Wouldn't that be embarrassing?  I think so.  Anyway, I have to figure out which one I'm going to use.

You can purchase your own here.

-6-

Monday I had contractions.  When I was pregnant with Luke, I had Indian food the day before I went into labor.  Not that I think it worked, since I was 10 days late with him, I figured i'd be worth the shot of trying again.  So Tuesday evening we went to Indian food for dinner.  I'm still pregnant.  

Didn't hurt though, the food was good.

 

-7-

I'm thinking about calling my parents and in-laws at weird hours the next week just to let them think that I'm in labor... then when they answer I'll say HI!  And act surprised when they ask if I'm doing ok or what I'm doing calling so late/early.

Ok, maybe I won't do it to my inlaws since they are out of town.  But, maybe I should try with my dad.  I'm sure he'd enjoy the scare :)  ok, ok, Dad, I won't do it....

I love doing things like this because I can actually come up with things to talk about.  Then I also get to write down and remember my week.  See you next Friday!

Check out more at Conversion Diary!

7 Quick Takes Friday... 2

-1-

Last Thursday, Friday and Saturday we enjoyed a beautiful Easter Triduum.  I thought that it might be a little much with a 23month old and being so pregnant but it was really joyous.  I especially loved the Easter Vigil mass at our new parish (we moved in December).  We missed it last year because we didn't think Luke would last through the whole Mass last year. But this year we knew he could make it.  It is by far the best Mass of the year.  And now we are still celebrating Easter and the Risen Lord.

-2-

My in-laws came over for Easter.  We had a fantastic Ham dinner that I made along with deviled eggs and fruit salad.  My Mother in law made fantastic potatoes au gratin and two cakes... one a flourless chocolate cake which was out of this world, and the other was a daffodil cake her mom used to make.  My sister in law brought a salad with a great avocado dressing that I'm just going to have to make soon because I'm really craving it.  She also brought her two kids so the kids played the whole day and we all, obviously, enjoyed the food.  I really enjoyed the company of my in-laws.  It seemed that everyone had such a good time.  And I'm excited because we said we'd like Easter to be at our house.  I love Easter and it's a good holiday to host!

-3-

I finally checked in on facebook.  I had a lot of birthday messages.  But in this last week I have decided to weed out some of my friends list.  I think I've almost got it to where I like it.  

I feel refreshed.  And I don't really even care about it too much any more, this year was different than last year.  Very hard to explain.

I did miss several things though.  3 friends had babies, my cousin got engaged (though I probably would have heard that through the grapevine), and a few other things. 

-4-

This week has been tiring.  My son has had a bit of an ear infection.  His sleeping has been way off.  My poor husband hasn't gotten too much sleep and is really busy at work.  And I am in those last few tiring weeks of pregnancy. I'm so looking forward to relaxing a little with my husband and son this weekend.

 

-5-

Usa, my best friend, finally had a day off from work and came to visit us Wednesday for dinner.  She's been having to work a lot lately so we haven't really gotten to see too much of each other.  Oh, and the fact that I'm really too pregnant (tired and lazy) to drive to her house which is about 40 minutes away.  She's always so nice to come down here because she knows its easier for me.  I just can't believe we haven't been hanging out very much lately.  She used to live with us, I really miss her around all the time and I miss not living as close.   I don't recommend going a long time with out seeing close friends.  Oh, and my son is crazy about her.

-6-

Luke got his first water colors for Easter.  His grandma knows he likes to draw.  Anyway, he can't get enough of the water colors already.  He's been painting almost non-stop from the time I got them out... well non-stop in between playing guitar with his daddy.  He even ran out of the paint.  So last night I bought him some more water colors with more colors so he's having fun with that today.  I can't believe how much he loves to color and paint.  And he is really getting good control now.

 

 

-7-

I always try to pray when I first wake up.  Sometimes this leads me off into trailed thoughts.  Well anyway this morning I remembered I have been trying to contact this Priest friend of ours who we met while he was serving as a deacon at our Parish.  After our parish he went back to Rome to study then got ordained as a priest.  He went to Rome again for a year before coming back to work here again.  He went to a parish in another part of our state so we haven't seen or talked to him recently.

Anyway, I looked his name up and found out where he was.  I contacted the parish and he wrote me an email today.  I just am so excited that we can talk to him again... he even asked us if we could catch up on the phone next week!  Yay!  My husband and I just had the best time getting to know him when he was a deacon, we even named Luke's middle name after him.  The news of getting back in contact with him was the highlight of my day!  (at least so far)  

I love doing things like this because I can actually come up with things to talk about.  Then I also get to write down and remember my week.  See you next Friday!

Check out more at Conversion Diary!

First Time 7 quick takes

-1-

My spring time allergies have been pretty terrible lately.  I have been taking local raw honey in hopes that it helps a little.  I've heard that a teaspoon of local honey helps, if you start early enough.  But sometimes a spoonful of honey is a little, well, sweet.  So my new concoction, yogurt, frozen blueberries, sometimes almond and a big spoonful of honey.  Mmm is that good, who cares if it helps my allergies!

-2-

Tomorrow, April 16th, is officially one month until my due date, May 16th.  Can you believe it?  One month left.  Time to start nesting.  I have a nice little list of things to do before the baby comes.  Every once and a while I freak out a little with the amount of things we need to accomplish.  Yesterday I had a small breakdown when my husband came home from work.  He helped me (he did a lot of it) clean up the house, mop the floors, clean the bathrooms, and finish cleaning the kitchen.  Later on in the day when I apologized for freaking out right when he got home from work, he told me that he remembered last time, with Luke, we did the same thing at about the same time.  So maybe it's normal?

I also got all the baby clothes washed and ready in the 'kids room' closet.  Which really isn't a kids room, since we co-sleep... and all the rest of the stuff (toys) is out in our living room.  We just basically use the closet for clothes and we have a diaper table in there.  But the closet looks pretty good.  I put our folding shelf in there and found enough of these blue boxes to store the clothes in.  Now I want to make some cloth baskets for their socks... maybe someday.  Oh, and I need some more hangers- I'll put that on the to-do list.

-3-

Next week is Holy Week!  I can't believe Palm Sunday is in two days.   And I can't believe Lent is almost over.  I gave up facebook.  I am still liking not being on there.  I can't pinpoint why exactly.  But one of the reasons is that I feel like I have stayed in closer contact with my good and close friends.  My close friends are the ones that text me every day, call me, and email me.  I just feel better being personal with a few and not having so many 'acquaintances'.  Though, I did miss pictures of a few old friends that had babies.  I would like to see those.

As far as what I have done in the time I normally check facebook.  Well, I probably could do more.  But I have tried really hard to read the daily readings everyday.  I have felt that it has strengthened me in my prayer life.  Sometimes I lack the right things to say but after reading the daily readings I have something to reflect upon.  That has really helped me.  Especially in these last few tiring weeks of pregnancy.   I have also learned about the Angelus prayer and prayed it a few times.  As a mother I feel especially close to Mary and how she gave her life to God.  Those words, 'let it be done to me according to your word'.  Oh, how I love reflecting upon that.  She is such a good example of what it means to love the Lord. 

-4-

My old Neighbor's and their two kids came over to visit us in our new house this morning.  It was so fun, I miss living in our old neighborhood.  But I like our new house better.  And I like that my husband is closer to his job.  The drive was miserable.  But I miss my two stay at home mom friends and how we used to walk up to the park with them any chance we got.  I know I'll miss going to Lisa's backyard in the summer while our kids played in the kiddie pool and we sat and absorbed the vitamin D, and got to eat their fresh berries. Now we're an hour away :*(

 

-5-

My son watches this cartoon called Kipper.  The cartoons talk in a British accent.  I think he's starting to pick up on it a little.  Some of the things he says sound like it.  He also says 'yes' now instead of 'yeah' or 'yep' which he used to do.  Sometimes it just sounds so proper.  I don't know why, I guess it could be from Kipper too. 

-6-

Sometimes I want to be natural but I just can't find the right thing.  I've been weaning off shampoo for a while.  Mostly because I ran out of my 2-in-1 kids shampoo that I know is toxic but smells oh so good.  I've used Dr Bronners sometimes and then baking soda followed by apple cider vinegar.  I'm not really a fan of either one, but they work ok.  But now that I'm starting to get allergies, I've been trying to shower more and wash my hair on a regular basis so I'm not laying in pollen when I sleep.  I haven't used real shampoo in probably almost a month now until last night.  And oh man does my hair feel silky and nice.  So now I'm in search of what shampoo I will buy next.  I want something inexpensive and natural.... those two things hardly exist.  The thing is that I can stand using baking soda and vinegar, but I don't love it.  Any suggestions?

 

-7-

We've spent a lot of time outside the last couple of weeks.  Luke and I have been outside for walks or in the yard everyday in the last two weeks.  He's been digging in the dirt in our yard and he can't get enough.  He always asks to go dig with his shovel everyday.  Today was the first day we didn't really go outside to do anything.   I feel pretty good that since I've been pretty lazy about getting out of the house, that we're able to play outside.  I think he really enjoys it.   We've also really been lucky to catch a little sun in between rain storms.  I saw that the weather looks sunny next week.  Thankgoodness.  I'm getting tired of the rain here.

We are also getting ready to plant a garden in the next couple weeks, I say 'next couple of weeks' that hoping that my loving husband will do it this weekend.  I know that Luke will enjoy to help us plant.  And we still need to plant the raspberries and blueberries I bought.  I will post pictures of these later.

This was my first "7 quick takes Friday".  I love doing things like this because I can actually come up with things to talk about.  Then I also get to write down and remember my week.  See you next Friday!

Check out more at Conversion Diary!

Pregnancy update and Lent

I am 32 1/2 weeks pregnant.  I had another midwife appointment today, at home again.  I am having appointments every other week now, can you believe it?  I can't.  So there's just 7 weeks left, but I'm thinking more like 8 or 9 since Luke was so late.  That's ok by me, she can come when she comes.

I'm having a few issues right now.  One is that my pelvis hurts like crazy.  And then I twisted it getting into bed the  other night.  Nothing serious, just really uncomfortable.  So my midwife suggested getting a chiropractic appointment.  Then, my father in law, who is a physical therapist gave me a few exercises to do and told me to ice.  I guess I should have been doing that all along.   Next thing is I've had some bowel issues (tmi?)  and my stomach has been hurting.  I found out that I am taking to much magnesium.  I take calcium magnesium and I think I am sensitive to the magnesium.  I need the calcium though for obvious reasons and for leg cramps.  So I have to find just a calcium supplement.  Going tomorrow for one.
But I have to wait until Wednesday for the chiro appointment... sigh.

Good news is that the baby is healthy and moving around just nicely!  And I really LOVE my midwife, there was the back up one that came today, and I love her too.  They both have a lot of knowlage. They both are naturopaths.  And I am learning so much this time around that I didn't know before.  I just feel really comfortable and I feel like they have the same goal in mind, a healthy natural birth.

Luke is still nursing away.  I am making colostrum now and I think he's liking that.  His nursing isn't changing except that I think he is starting to get his molars so he feels uncomfortable. I sometimes think about the transition that will take place with Luke once we have a new baby, but I don't want to think about it too hard because I don't know what will happen.  He might be really happy, he might have some getting used to baby moments, but I don't want to dwell on the situations because they are what they will be and I can't control it.  I have too much else to think about anyway.

------

Next is Lent.  I gave up facebook.  I feel a little different than I did last year.  Last year, I was really excited to get back on and see what was going on.  This year I have almost contemplated deleting facebook.  I like the break, I like not thinking about what everyone else is doing.  Especially since I have a lot of friends that I don't really talk to anymore, or people that I just look at their status but never actually see in real life.  I don't know if I want that.  I have a few ideas about it.  I might just decide to delete it.  I might just decide to get rid of anyone that I don't know, know... like people I don't call or text on a regular basis.  Though, my parents and Grammy do check to see pictures of Luke.  But there's email for that.

Another thing is that  I know I'm judgemental about what people write or post on there.  Its really nice to get rid of those thoughts.  I also have less urges to get worked up over posts people make that I don't agree with.

I also have have had more time to write countless emails to my friend Lisa about parenting, food, and other randoms.  I have also been emailing my best friend Usa in the morning on occasion telling her to call when she has free time and she emails me late at night when she is up late.  We have completely opposite schedules, oh and she works.  I also have been trying to email my parents and grandparents and texting my inlaws pictures of Luke.  But the point is that it's been really nice to be on a personal level with people I care about... not just posting pictures on facebook  into the black hole of the internet.  Does that make sense?

I'm not sure what I'll do, but I really like the break.

That's pretty much it for now.  I want to update my blog more and I had planned on updating more through out pregnancy but I'm just so tired that laying down sounds so much better than typing.  And on that note, I'm going to lay down in my nice warm bed :)  good night.

Shopping and Ash Wednesday

We did almost nothing today.  But I decided to take a trip to Target to look around and to have Luke burn some energy.  We looked around at clothes for Luke because I saw some shirts on sale, then to toys to play, then back to clothes.  Luke was bored or just needed to get out because was waving clothes around by hangers, hiding under the clothes racks and knocking a lot of stuff on the floor.  In a way it was funny but in a way it was madning because I had to pick it all up.

We were on our last stop at the kids clothes section while I was looking at baby girl stuff and Luke said 'poop'.  Oh man.  I asked him if he could hold it until we bought what we had and could go to the bathroom.  He didn't really say anything.  So we checked out and I went into the family bathroom.  He had already pooped a little in his underwear... but it was solid enough (tmi?) to just dump out and change with out too much hassle.  Thank goodness!!  I honestly have kind of forgotten what to do when that happens and we aren't at home.  So I put new underwear on him and new pants.  Then I had figured, pregnant lady should go before we go home, just in case.  I started peeing and some kid opened the door to our bathroom!  I quickly got up and pushed it shut.  He pushed back.  LOL.  Finally I got it shut and locked.  Whew.  How embarrassing.  Not only was I with my pants down and pregnant, it freaked Luke out a little that some one was barging in.

We made it home... and I was just tired.  Luckily Ben came home right around then so he helped out.  We ate dinner quickly and then went to Ash Wednesday Mass.  Our church had 3 times- 830am (too early and Ben was at work), 6pm (we'd have to rush to get there after Ben got home) and 730.  So 730 it was....  Turns out that was the Spanish time.  So we had our whole Ash Wednesday in Spanish.  At first I was bummed because I really want to start off this Lenten season well.  I'm really trying to end my spiritual drought.  But after a while of being there I enjoyed it just as I would English mass.  And there were way more kids Luke's age there and that was fun.  And Luke got ashes and he kept pointing at us and all the other people saying 'Ashes too'.

Luke with his ashes

And, I'm giving up facebook for Lent.  I love doing it because I get out of the habit of getting on there, checking in on people and the distraction of thinking of status messages and waiting for comments.  It gets too obsessive after awhile.  I feel more free with out it.
As a family we aren't going out to eat during Lent.  I'm not sure what we'll do with the money we usually spend, or if we'll just add it to groceries.  But we do it too often and we should get out of the habit of not making food at home, its healthier and less expensive.
I just want to have more quality praying during Lent.  Lately, it's been really hard.  So I'm hoping for the best.  Happy Lent to everyone.