Thursday, July 1, 2010


I've reached the point of discernment for another child. A few months ago, I couldn't have even considered the thought of having another baby. I prayed about it, it was a no.
I can usually tell in my heart when things are right or wrong. I have to strip away the other stuff to actually see, but I usually just know. God is usually fairly clear to me when I ask him what to do.
But now? I actually had the thought in Mass, should I think about it now? Could I do it now? The answer wasn't a definite 'no' any more. It's now a maybe.
It's hard though. I'm just enjoying my things now. I'm enjoying the fact that Ben can take Luke to the park in the evening for a while. I'm enjoying that I am not needed as much as I was needed when Luke was an infant. My back hurts less because I'm not carrying around a baby any more. I'm nursing less than before. Car trips are incredible now, it's actually possible to go somewhere. My body is mostly back to where it was before.
I mean, it's not all candies and rainbows, it's just different. There are still challenges, in fact probably more challenges now. We're starting the baby toddler stage. I'm learning what to do when Luke does something he shouldn't and he's learning too. There are still some days when Ben gets home that I need rest.
But could I do all of this with a newborn?
Dear God, I'm not sure. Please help me discern what your will is.


Julie said...

I am a big believer in thinking that God doesn't give us something we can not handle. If he was to bless you with another child, He would also give you the grace and all needed to care for that child. We take a 'let God handle it' approach to children. I think it removes a lot of stress surrounds those wonderful little blessing.
Prayers for you during this time of discerning.

Lisa C said...

Interesting what Julie said. I always feel like I just couldn't handle having children close together. I really think I would snap. But if God blessed me so that I could handle more...

Well, I do believe He knows what I am capable of, and He's the only one who could possibly know what my next child is going to be like. You are wise to pray for guidance. Having another child is such a huge thing, not to be taken lightly. I absolutely believe that we need to think out these decisions for ourselves with our spouse and then also pray for guidance.