Holy Thursday and no nap

I didn't get my nap with Luke in today. I let him sleep in the bed while I made this cool book for Luke for church. It is just made out of card stock covered in contact paper. But it's neat because it is going to have one for Holy Thursday, Good Friday and then Easter. I did it because Luke is always so distracted during Mass. He really wants to use our missal but the papers are thin and they are really easily tear-able... which isn't a good thing considering one of Luke's favorite things to do is tear paper. So hopefully, I can keep making a different book/paper thing each Sunday so he can have something to read. I just don't like the idea of distractions. I don't want him to learn that we come to church to play, or eat cereal, or anything else. So at least if I'm kind of trying to distract him, it will at least be with a religious thing. We'll see how that turns out.
I missed my nap though. I can really tell when being tired is starting to wear on me. It hits in the afternoon around 4-5, right before Ben gets home. It makes for a really unproductive evening. Maybe I'll nap tomorrow.

'Chores'

Luke is really into doing the dishes, moping the floor, vacuuming, and basically all the regular 'chores' we do every week. I read in The Continuum Concept (a book about the way a tribe in South America raises their young) that children are always around watching their parents do different tasks and as they get older they just join in.The kids would try what ever their parents were doing, then go on to play with out any encouragement from the parents either way. Each time they would join in a little lomger Even if it's just a couple minutes here and there until they finally are old enough and skilled enough to do the task. I've always been intrigued by this and wanted to try this a little myself.
This is what I do. I let Luke sit in the other side of the sink with his own brush. He scrubs away at the pan just like us. Or we have the dishwasher open to load it after dinner and we let him take plates out even if he just puts them on the floor. He is still exploring what to do. It is pretty amazing that he knows exactly what to do just from watching me the last 10 months. While he isn't really helping, he's learning and able to participate in something that we do. So maybe when he is older, he'll actually know to wash the plate that he uses, at least hopefully. This is why I put 'chores' in quotes, he loves them. What makes something a chore? When in my life did I consider doing dishes a chore? If I liked washing dishes when I was small because I thought it was cool to do what my parents were doing, when did it become something that I didn't want to do? Where is that transition? My initial thought is that when he understands what he's doing he's not going to like it. But thinking more about it, how will he ever know that doing dishes is a negative thing? He would learn that from us. So, I'm thinking if might work, as long as I can just act like 'chores' are something that we just do and not something negative that maybe I can delay the idea that 'chores' exist. I think our attitude will really affect the way he views doing chores.
This is why I don't try and 'get something done' (a common quote used by mothers, usually means they can actually do something productive when their baby is sleeping) while Luke is napping. I want to do everything while he's awake so he can see what to do. If he never watches me do dishes, laundry, vacuum, etc, how will he ever learn? It should be interesting to see what happens... maybe he'll always like doing the dishes!

Allergies and Iron

I don't know what it is but I've been just SO tired lately. Nothing has changed, same amount of sleep, same amount of coffee. I have noticed my allergies getting WAY worse. Usually my body gets tired when allergies are bad. I currently take loratadine which is compatible with breastfeeding. I'd rather not take any medicine. I've read before about taking a tsp of local honey every day instead. Since local honey has local pollen in it it kind of builds up your system to the pollen. I have to start today. I think I will try and go get some honey when Ben gets off work today. I'm wondering if I am allergic to one of our blooming plants in our backyard. I don't know how I would ever know what I'm allergic to. If I knew, I would rip the plant out and take it far away from me. Can you get tested for different types of plants the same way you can get tested for food allergies? I guess I could probably just google that.
Another contributor for my all around tiredness is probably lack of Iron. I stopped taking my prenatal vitamin a month or so ago because I think excessive Vitamin C gives Luke a diaper rash. I notice when I don't take it, his rash goes away. I am pretty confident that it is Vitamin C because I have literally tried to see if it was anything else. Anyways, after all the talk about lactational amenorrhea, my period came back. I guess I knew that was coming subconsciously. I'm pretty bummed about it. I thought I had another few months at least... I guess little Pookie is sleeping longer and eating more. My favorite neighbor Mom had mentioned that I should probably be taking iron now that Aunt Flow is back. Just in the last few days I haven't really even got the energy to leave the house. It sounds like I'm depressed or something but it's just because I feel so tired. I started taking the Iron again and I think that should help a little. Maybe if I can get the honey today too I'll feel less tired. I can't go on like this Ahh! lol

Eat and be Merry

I always feel like once I find out something is healthy, it's unhealthy. And that trends change on what you 'should' eat and what you shouldn't eat. Usa emailed me this today and it's so funny...


For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies:
1. The japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than americans.
2. The mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than americans.
3. The chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than americans.
4. The italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than americans.
5. The germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than americans.

Conclusion:
eat and drink what you like.
Speaking english is apparently what kills you.

10 Months!!

(written yesterday)
Today is Luke's 10 month birthday. I can hardly believe it. Here are some things he's doing today...

• Standing up with out holding on (for a few seconds before falling)
  
• He can walk along with his walker toy (see picture below) and he even took one step unassisted. (after I wrote this Ben saw him take two steps and get up from a kneeling position, can't believe I missed it.)
  
• I think he's said 'dog'
  
• He LOVES bread. And he is currently at the end of his obsession with oranges. He still loves them, but not as much as he did a week ago. He also likes raspberries, yogurt, onions, and sometimes he'll even chew a lemon.
  
• He's obsessed with Pickle and all other cats and dogs at friends houses.
• He still has a infatuation with doing dishes. Anytime the sink is on or the dishwasher door is down, he considers that his invitation to sprint crawl into the kitchen.

I love him so much. I can't believe he's this big.

Such a cool article.

I got this article from http://www.nfpandmore.org/bfnursing.shtml and it is probably one of the best things I've ever read. Enjoy.

NURSING MOTHERS’ REFLECTIONS ON THE BEATITUDES
by Sheila Kippley

One of the joys of my 30-some years of counseling and sharing breastfeeding experiences has been getting to know, at least slightly, the mothers who phoned or wrote, or who became personal friends. They were a regular source of inspiration for me. It was an honor to be part of their lives for a while.

The backgrounds and the experiences of these mothers varied widely, but they had in common a desire to do God’s will and to do what is best for their children. Collectively they have been like facets on a jewel.
The Beatitudes are also like facets and the jewel of Christian faith. Each helps us to see a particular aspect of discipleship.

Each of these thoughts on the Beatitudes reflects in one way or another the experience of mothers I have been privileged to know. Each reflection represents the experiences or thoughts of a different nursing mother. I found their attitudes refreshing, and I hope that some small part of their jewel-like sparkle manages to get through the words that follow.

1. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs Is the kingdom of heaven.

Lord, you could have been born anywhere—in a beautiful place, in a wealthy family, but you chose a stable. You chose poverty. Yet you had everything! A loving mother and father, warmth, and plenty of milk for your sustenance. I have no choice. My life is simple because of my situation. My husband’s job brings in enough money to meet our needs and still allows me to stay home with my baby.

Our baby is a true gift from you, Lord. I enjoy nursing him so much. How Our Lady must have enjoyed holding you so close as you suckled from each breast.

I do try to look for chances where I can choose a less expensive item whenever possible. I have a friend who does this better than I. When she has a new baby and people want to give her gifts, she asks for only secondhand clothes or other items. I have tried to follow her example by not purchasing brand new items or clothing when secondhand purchases are just as good and cost less. This has saved us money, especially in the area of bedding and furniture. I remember a priest at a seminar who wore a black cardigan that had holes in it, but the holes did not show up because of his black priestly outfit. Needless to say, Lord, that priest made an impression on me.

I’ve given our baby the best start in life by breastfeeding him. This also has saved us money. Besides the breastfeeding, I pray that I continue to feed my baby well with good foods as he ages and my husband and future family as well. Homemade meals with soups and breads are more nutritious than store meals and also help a family to save money. Please give me the energy and time to do this without feeling guilty if I have to resort to the quick store meal occasionally.

I pray that my husband and I can continue to share with others through tithing and by the use of our talents. When a relative or neighbor is in need, please give me the graces to help without grumbling and with a good and willing heart.

Our baby continues to grow big and strong. Breastfeeding is so good for him. Our pediatrician is supportive of exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life. Thank you, Lord, for that wonderful physician. My husband and I are thin and tall, so our robust baby looks out of character for our family. We thank you, Lord, for your plan for mother and baby. Choosing to breastfeed has simplified my life. His food is always available without any work on my part. I have yet to buy any formula or bottles. Again, thank you, Lord, for all you’ve done for me and my family.

2. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Lord, I am sure there are many other mothers who are quite sad and cry out to you in their sorrow. My heartache is so deep, so painful, that I can hardly pray through my tears. I keep recalling that beautiful day when I lost both my husband and son while visiting California at Christmas time. It was such a nice day that my son went swimming in the ocean. He got caught in a riptide and my husband went in to rescue him. Tragically both died. It all happened so fast and I could do nothing. I was completely helpless as I watched.

Being pregnant at the time, I was left with my other son and an unborn baby. Since her birth, my baby has been my solace. My sorrow has been so intense, but this baby has been my comfort as I nurse and cuddle her, especially during the night. This baby gives me strength and helps me to be a better parent to my son. I still grieve, Lord. Please give me the graces to be the mother you want me to be. Please help me. Help me to make the right decisions for my children, and please always give me one or two friends or relatives whom I can call on for support. I especially need a friend or two for my journey through this first year without my husband and son. My sister calls frequently and is very supportive.

The pediatrician says our little girl is thriving on my milk. Thank you, Lord, for a beautiful, healthy baby girl. You are so good!

3. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Lord, I understand you want me to do your will in all things without protest. I’ve nursed two babies in spite of not enjoying the nursing as other mothers do. I do know that my babies enjoyed the nursing—they would kick their feet for joy as I began to get ready to nurse. They also loved lying next to me and just cuddling.

I struggled with nursing our first baby. Within the first couple weeks, I became engorged. Once I got the hang of it, the problems really began. I had mastitis several times within the first several months. During this time my breasts hurt so much and nursing was just about unbearable. In between the mastitis bouts, I frequently got clogged ducts. It was during this time that I wanted to stop nursing. It seemed so enjoyable to other mothers, but I was having a very painful and unpleasant experience. For six months my nursing was painful. I paid for a lactation consultant to come to my home. Her advice did not prove helpful. If it were not for the support of my mom and a couple of other nursing friends and sisters, I am certain I would have quit. My husband was also very supportive.

The knowledge I had about the benefits of nursing also proved helpful. I had really educated myself about its benefits to my baby, and I wanted to do what was best for him. Everytime I was at an all time low, I would pray to God that I could just do it a little longer. My mother came over frequently to help me. One night in desperation, we said some “Hail Marys” together. It was a long time before nursing became normal and easy.

When it did become easy, I still wasn’t blessed with all the wonderful feelings that some nursing mothers describe. I was one of those mothers who could not fall asleep while nursing her baby, and unfortunately, neither of my children were good sleepers. So I did a lot of night-time nursing sitting up in the rocking chair. Thus, I experienced lots of fatigue with both babies. I got used to the tiredness, and I was so happy to be doing something for my children that they both seemed to enjoy so much. I also was thrilled to be providing them with all the nutrients and benefits that are found in mother’s milk.

Whenever I have the opportunity, I do encourage mothers who are experiencing similar problems to hang in there and keep up the nursing. Usually most problems work themselves out soon with professional help and support.

Nursing my second baby was a breeze. I had no problems. I thank you, Lord, for that. I still did not enjoy nursing the way many of my friends did. Maybe this had to do with my disposition. I tend to worry and fret about things that other mothers do not even think about. Lord, help me to relax more as a mother. In spite of it all, I love my children and love being a mom.

So why did I nurse when I did not always enjoy nursing? First, I think that the good Lord gave me inner strength. He blessed me with wonderful people in my life who gave me constant encouragement. When I was having problems, I would say simple prayers, like, “Lord, I know that my milk is best for my babies. Your design for mother and baby is best for nutrition and nurturing. Please give me strength to continue.” Second, both of my babies enjoyed the nursing, and each nursed for 18 months. While I was not always happy about nursing, I did because it’s best for my babies. I hope to always follow the Lord’s will for my life, to seek his will in prayer, and I always want to stay close to him.

4. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

My baby is only four months old. My husband works for the Church. At times we both attend Church meetings together, and I have been able to bring my breastfed baby to such meetings. However, we have been asked to participate in a weekend retreat in two months, but we were told we must leave our baby at home. With nursing, that is impossible. Our baby will not take a bottle and would miss me greatly if I left her with someone else, even it that person was my mother. What are we to do?

Please, Lord, give me the wisdom to use the right words to seek justice in this situation. Give my husband and me a gentle spirit so we can convey to our pastor next week our particular dilemma. I will reassure the pastor that our baby will not disturb any of the talks or events at the retreat. If our baby fusses, I will take him out immediately. Lord, please help me to answer any objections that may come up at the meeting with our pastor. Give us the courage and calmness to express ourselves well so that our pastor will better understand our situation. Help him to understand the needs of the baby for his mother and her milk, and that the baby has a right to his mother’s milk.
And thank you, Lord, for our wonderful baby. What a gift to us!

5. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

Lord, our home is in turmoil right now. Our teen is most blunt about his extreme dislike for us, his parents. We are terribly hurt by his behavior. I know our situation is not unusual. I hear from my friends and acquaintances that their older children run all over them. Why do older children behave this way? Why are they so disrespectful of their parents? These children all come from good Catholic homes. When I expressed displeasure about our child without getting into any details, my friend simply said, “I know. I’ve been there. I know the feeling.” Her words showed she understood and I felt better. Another friend who was having a bad time with her daughter said to me, “I didn’t know it could hurt so much.” Sometimes the hurt can be so painful that you just want to throw in the towel. It gets to be pretty discouraging. Who would ever think that your command to love our enemies would apply to our own children.

I know of many situations, Lord, where you sent relief because of my prayer. Thank you. I have also found the sacrament of confession so helpful in erasing any grudge or despair I might have with regard to any of my children. Or during confession the priest offers spiritual advice that I need at the time. Sometimes during my confession I unexpectedly start to cry, but I am sure other mothers have done this too. I thank you for helping me to forget the past and to learn to love my children when they’re not very lovable. Forgiveness is so necessary in family life, but it can also be most difficult.

I have nursed all our babies and have thoroughly enjoyed their years at home. The bonding that begins through the breastfeeding has been a big help, but I soon learned that the bonding and communication and love has to be achieved in other ways as the children grow.

Lord, raising our children during the early years was easy. Their needs were so basic: food, comfort, and love. Please give my husband and me the graces to continue loving each child, even when it gets difficult. As they leave home, help us to keep up the communication with our children. Thank you, Lord, for your forgiveness in the sacrament of confession and help us to forgive others whenever we are injured...no matter how badly we feel. I thank you also, Lord, for time. With time, all things seem to be much better. Emotions heal with time. New activities and events take place. Family life has a chance to be renewed. Thank you, Lord.

6. Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God.

Lord, you want me to be pure of heart. You want me to have that single-minded goal of holiness, to be one with you. In our marriage we have developed more spiritual goals in the past several years. We have learned about natural family planning and about generosity in having children. We have learned about your plan for spacing babies through breastfeeding. We are excited about our new knowledge. We also have become more excited about our faith.

I weaned our first three babies during the early months to please my husband. He wanted me to wean early so I could help out with the ranch work as soon as possible. With a change in attitudes, we decided I would nurse our fourth baby more naturally. I continued to help my husband with the ranch work, but this time our baby went everywhere with me. We rode the tractor together, checked heifers in the middle of the night together, and rode a horse together to move some cows. She helped me in the kitchen and loves to cook. She has been my helpmate and a joy.

At 26 months, she weaned naturally. Up to that time I never left her for more than two hours. My periods also returned at 26 months. She nursed often up until that last month.

When my daughter was 18 months old, my 92-year-old grandmother told me I should wean, that my baby was too old to still be nursing, that she needed to learn independence, and that I needed to live my own life so I could come and go as I pleased. At that time I was very upset with this advice. So I went to you, Lord, in prayer. I asked you to show me the way. You certainly answered me immediately. A few hours later I went to give my husband lunch out in the field, and I told him about my grandmother’s advice. I asked him if I should wean our little girl. He looked at me lovingly and said, “No. You two are doing just fine.” I thank you, Lord, for changing my husband’s heart also. He has become so supportive of my breastfeeding.
Please, Lord, give other new mothers the strength and support to be single-minded, humble and strong in doing what’s best for their babies and their older children. Give them the courage to be bold and to take their babies with them. Give them the courage to do what’s right for their baby.

7. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

Lord, when you speak of peacemakers, I think of obedience. How peaceful this world would be if children obeyed their parents, and if church members and the clergy would obey and follow the teachings of the Church!

After her children had left home, a friend of mine regretted not stressing the Fourth Commandment when her children were still under her care. In many families the honor and respect due one’s parents is often missing. I had breakfast with an older man, a friend of my dad’s, whose son would not come to visit his mother when she was dying. There are many cases where child and parent are not talking or where one sibling will not talk to another sibling.

Please, Lord, help us as parents to instill in our children a sense of honoring their parents and respecting those in authority. Give us peace in our families.

May the bonding in breastfeeding teach our children how to love as they grow older and develop other relationships. May they also grow to respect and appreciate their friends and the elderly, especially their aunts and uncles and grandparents.

Help me, Lord, to remember that breastfeeding is only a start. There is also the truthful saying that “the family that prays together stays together.” The rosary is such a help to family life with Mary’s protection. Please, Lord, grant our family peace.

8. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs Is the kingdom of heaven.

Lord, give me the graces to counteract the bad advice this world is so eager to give to young mothers. Give me the right words to say, especially when someone makes a negative remark about my nursing. When I see a mother nursing modestly in public, give me the right words to encourage her.

Last night we stayed in a hotel while visiting family and relatives. When our relatives found out we slept with our baby in the king-size bed at the hotel they were horrified. They ruined our Thanksgiving dinner with their negative comments. We felt persecuted and were at a loss for words. Actually, no one was interested in hearing our thoughts on the subject. They were only interested in conveying their views and objections.

I am a 25-year-old college graduate who quit work to be home. I love being at home with my baby. The most important thing is that we wake up together; smile, talk, and nurse; we’re inseparable all day; smile, talk, and nurse; go to sleep; smile and nurse all night; and start the new day the same way. The breastfeeding has helped me to form a trust and relationship with her that is strong.

I have learned through breastfeeding that I do not have to be “super” mom. The important thing is that I am there for my child. We can be good moms and wives by showing love and affection in the ordinary and simple ways.
Lord, there are nursing mothers who know of no one else that is nursing a baby. They are told that their milk is not good enough or that they are spoiling their baby. They are criticized for not getting a babysitter or for still nursing at nine months or a year. Please, Lord, give these mothers the grace to do what’s best for their baby and to ignore the negative advice. Strengthen the husband’s knowledge about breastfeeding so he can react to any irrational comments and defend his wife’s breastfeeding. May our society be more open and supportive of breastfeeding so that these criticisms are no longer a part of our culture.

Oh how the turn tables.

(the title is a quote from the office)

As I reflect on my thoughts and feelings about being a mom before I was a mom I think of how much I have changed. As a practicing Natural Family Planner, before I had a baby, I was horrified that I would have to do 'ecological breastfeeding' to help with infertility after childbirth. I would never have imagined myself letting my baby suckle when ever he needs or even breastfeed around the clock. What about ME? I always imagined many nights away with bottles of milk on hand so I could 'get away'.
Now what am I? I am an ecological breastfeeder. I nurse my baby when he needs it. There is no 'schedule'. When he's hungry, he gets it. When he needs a little extra comfort, he gets it. When he's sick, he gets it. In the middle of the night when he nuzzles into me because he knows I'm right next to him, he gets it.
Now I can't imagine not having our breastfeeding relationship any different. Now I have an extra special bond with my baby. Now I'm an ecological breastfeeder. Now I have the added benefit of longer lactational amenorrhea. Now I'm 'one of those moms'. And I love it.

EC stories of the day

(in case you're unfamiliar EC or Elimination Communication is this )
EC Story of the day #1
I just have to post these before I forget. This morning my dad called, Luke was super fussy during the last 10 minutes of our conversation. I got off the phone Luke was still fussy. I thought he just wanted attention. But even though I was holding him he still didn't stop squirming and whining. Even though I didn't think he had to go, I took him to the bathroom. I set him on his toilet. He immediately pooped. He was completely fine after that. I totally missed that communication but he held it until I took him, how cool!
EC Story of the day #2
On the way to moms group at New Seasons, Luke was passed out in the ergo. I went in and sat down and he didn't wake up right away. He woke up about 20 mintues after we got there. He always pees right after waking up so i decided to take him back to the bathroom so we didn't have to dirty a diaper. When I got back there (the bathroom far away from where we meet for moms group) his diaper was already wet so I figured I just hadn't gotten him back there in time and he had to go. I took his diaper off while I was holding him to switch out the pre-fold inside of his diaper cover. I started to feel something warm... yep you guessed it, he started to pee on me. I flipped him around to the potty and he let the rest of the pee out in the toilet. Needless to say I got pee all over the side of my shirt and pants. It wasn't too much since most went in the toilet. Luckily you couldn't see it on my shirt but you could see a little wet on my pants but it kinda looked like I had just gotten water on myself from washing my hands. That wasn't the first time I've been peed on and it probably won't be the last :)

March Madness

A few years ago today, I would have been glued to the TV watching the NCAA mens basketball tournament, aka March Madness. Today and Tomorrow, the first two days of the tourney, you can literally watch basketball all day long and I would.

Here's what I did this year...

Luke Playing with his friend

Crawling towards me

He found the dandelion

Here he found a stick and put it in his mouth like a dog. I missed that picture.

Did I miss watching basketball today? No way!

Time Change and Luke

Luke usually goes to bed at 10. Yeah, I know, It's pretty late for a baby. Ben gets home later, so if Luke had an early bed time, Ben would never see him. It works out anyways. He usually sleeps in pretty late too so it makes up for it. I thought after we set our clocks ahead, Luke wouldn't know and try and stay up till 11. That would be way too late for even us. Since basically we go to bed whenever Luke falls asleep or a little after. I thought for sure Sunday night would be miserable with him staying up till 11 and finally going to sleep which would mean that Ben would not get enough sleep for work and we'd all be tired all week. Surprisingly though, Luke went to sleep at 9. Then Monday, 9. And last night around 10. Perfect. How it didn't affect him, I'll never know.
I think once we move, I would like to see if I could try and get him to go to bed a wee bit earlier. Ben will be at home 2 hours more every day so he'll get plenty of time with Luke. The main reason would be because I would like to have the option of going to bed at 9 or even earlier if I wanted to. Plus, as he (and the rest of the kids we are going to have) get older, it'd be nice if they weren't used to staying up until 10. Especially when they start school... though that's an entire different blog post since we're probably going to home school... they should go to bed a little bit earlier. But who knows. I've never really had any sort of schedule for Luke. He just sleeps when he's tired. Sometimes that means carrying him in the ergo somewhere I have to go. Or taking him out of the car seat while he's passed out to go into a store. Or just passing out at moms group. He usually sleeps anywhere, which is a blessing. He takes after Ben and I. I guess it'd be nice to know when he's going to sleep. Maybe at some point we'll have a constancy. I can see it more as he gets older. Right now, he's usually awake by 8ish. Sleeps again from 11-12ish. Then a later afternoon nap 4-6ish. Though, today was different, he woke up when Ben left for work, so he's back asleep now. Maybe some day, he'll decide on a schedule. Until then, we'll just roll with the punches.

Running

Yep, I've started running again. I went on my first run in quite a while last night. I have to say that I felt pretty good. I ran two miles. It's not much, but it's a good start.
I decided that after the time change I would start running again. Since it's light out for an extra hour at night now, I can go once Ben gets home from work. I didn't want to before because it was dark out and even though we live in a good neighborhood, it's still scary. Even last night I noticed some strange people on the main road by our house. Not that I think anything would have happened, but I might as well not take any chances. Maybe I worry too much? Better safe than sorry.
I felt good though. By the second mile I was starting to feel the out-of-shape-ness. Especially up the gradual hill by our house. And by the last little bit of uphill, I was about ready to just stop but I persevered. I even sped up at the end to finish strong.
This is the longest I've ever gone with out running almost every day. I started running in high school when my friend, Usa, persuaded me into joining the cross country team my junior year. I was a little over weight my sophomore year. Starting the cross country team and running intensely every day like that while a little over weight was almost the hardest thing I've ever done. I just took it one day at a time and tried to make it through each run and eventually I was in shape. By my senior year, after running all year, playing basketball all summer I was in peak shape. I ran 4-5 days a week in college and even after college. Ben and I even started training for a marathon before we got married. After making it to running 12 miles I had to stop because my foot was bothering me. And we decided that we probably wouldn't continue training while we were on our honeymoon (who wants to run over 15 miles in Hawaii?). Then, I got pregnant. Besides the handful of times I've tried to run after Luke is born, I haven't consistently ran since July 2008. Wow, it's been a long time. I'm hoping to make this a habit. I really miss it.

I can see the other side

I know why people wouldn't breastfeed their babies. It's hard.
Right now I'm having some pain because Luke bit me the other day. I'm wondering if it's a clogged duct now? Or an infection? Or just soreness from where he bit me? It hurts a lot now when ever he nurses.
I've had almost every possible thing while breastfeeding Luke. I've had Mastitis, Thrush, Clogged Duct here and there, cracked and sore nipples. Luckily, most things I've only had once. I got mastitis the second day after we took Luke home from the hospital. I felt a little run down and feverish. I took my temperature, 102.7... Whoa! That's not so good after having a baby. I called my midwives and they wanted me to go to ER to rule out any kid of other infection. Long story short, I was there for 6 hours in the night because it was so busy. Next was Thrush which I had when Luke was 4 months old. It was horrible, it was like starting all over. I was sore and had to pump a lot. Now I have this. I'm not even sure what it is.
But, if I could go back, would I have just done formula? No way! Not only have I given Luke the best thing for him, we have created such a bond through nursing. I wouldn't trade it for the world. But can I see why someone would give up? Yes I can, breastfeeding is hard!

Monday, Mess

This weekend my parents came to visit. We had a great time. They were so excited to see Luke. It had been since January that they have seen him. He's grown up a lot since then. Luke is just getting to the age where he really interacts with people and wants to play so I think my parents had fun with them. They came up Friday afternoon. We didn't do too much except hang out. On Sunday we took Luke to the Zoo for the first time and he really liked it. He would point at all the animals and say 'da da daDA!!'. We found out that he is obsessed with dogs a few weeks ago, so other big animals were really a hit for him too. I really enjoyed having them stay at our house. It's really been the last couple of times they have come up that we have had them stay with us. Before, we lived in an apartment and they stayed at a motel usually. Since we have got the house they have stayed with us. It's really easier and more fun to have them stay here. Then we don't have to meet every morning, we just wake up and have coffee with them in the living room. It seems that we get more time to just hang out and talk which is always fun.
They just left this morning. Now it's back to the grind... cleaning the house, doing laundry, cleaning up all the toys Luke had out over the weekend... and ugg the kitchen. Why do we always have TONS of laundry? I mean seriously, I did like 10 loads last week to catch up now we have a ridiculous amount on the floor again. Ugg. What will happen with another kid? I will be doing laundry every single day.
As well as all the normal stuff, we still have a lot of work to do on the house. We have more stuff to pack up and get the house looking good for putting on the market. We hope to have it listed at least by April, if no sooner. Since Ben isn't home too much during the week, Luke and I should really get going on some packing & organizing. Maybe after a nap :D

My dad and Luke

How's Pickle Doing?

Pickle is doing quite well. A typical day for him is like this.
Between 3-5am wake up loud meows to get us to feed him some breakfast. Ben gets up, gives him food and comes back to bed, unless Pickle is good and sleeps in till Ben gets up for work.
After his food he wonders the house for a while before sleeping or laying down somewhere again. He also plays with Ben until he goes to work.
~730 goes back to sleep. He either sleeps in bed with Luke and I. Or he sleeps out in the living room. Sometimes he comes in and meows a little bit because he wants more food, but then will lay down after I refuse to get up to feed him because I don't want to wake up.
When Luke and I wake up... usually around 830ish, Pickle runs out with us to the kitchen hoping for a scoop of food or to be let into the garage. I can sometimes occupy him by opening the blinds on the kitchen window. Sometimes he waits until Luke and I have sat down to have breakfast to meow loudly for food or to go in the garage. I get up and tend to his needs. Sometimes he'll scratch at the blinds until I open them.
~10 after wondering, garage, eating his scoop, watching Luke crawl after him, he's back to sleep.
He sleeps the day away either on my bed or the guest bed. Sometimes waking up to wonder the house but usually goes right back to lay down.
Between 330-5 (5 is his dinner time of wet cat food) He will sprint into the kitchen EVERY single time it looks like i'm heading in that direction because there's hope that he might get more food. This continues until 5 (soemtimes 430) when I feed him.
630-730 begs for scoops of kibble
8-10 He's awake and playing with us or sitting on his cat tree on the highest perch watching our every move.
at 10 Pickle is out for the night to start his day again.

Pickle is almost 3 years old on April 15. He's a great cat. He's never tried to bother Luke. He lets Luke crawl up to him and touch him but then he quickly gets out of the way and gives Luke the look like 'what do you think you're doing'. Pickle is very particular and only wants the best of , everything. Hence why he usually sleeps on our temerpediic mattress, instists on wet cat food at 5am, and seems really bothered when things aren't going his way. He's spoiled and he knows it.

Easy Going

This is the best 'easy going' picture I could find. It was taken two years ago in Hawaii. This was definitely pre-Luke.

I have had two people in the last week tell me that I'm 'easy going'. My first instinct is to laugh when they say that. When I told Ben about this and asked if he thought I was easy going he said 'you are if everything is going the way you want it'. LOL! I mean, I consider myself easy going to a certain point. I think Ben is easy going. He is easy to talk to, not too rattled when plans change, goes with whatever comes his way, is open to many suggestions, doesn't like to argue, etc etc. That is easy going. I hate when plans change. I like suggestions but only if they are what I want to hear. I like a good argument. I am not that easy going. But there's a different part of easy going too. I don't care too much about 'looking good'. I'm not very aesthetic (is that the right word?). I don't notice details so usually I don't care about what color something is... or if these shoes look good with this outfit... or the paint in our house. I guess I don't fret or think about those things, so maybe that is more easy going.
I think maybe I have become a lot less worried. For some reason, I think I have stopped all the worrying almost all together. This is what I do when I feel worried about something. I think of THE WORST possible scenario... figure out how I would deal with it then I move on. Lately, that has really been working. For example, I forget extra clothes or something for Luke. What's the worst that can happen? I'm out and I have to go to a store and buy him something. Is that so bad? Or, Luke doesn't really like car rides all that much so I always think 'what if I can't make it home because he's too upset'. Oh well, I'll just pull over and have coffee somewhere. It's never the end of the world with anything.
So maybe they find that I'm easy going with Mothering? I would agree with that. There are several things that I think make me a relaxed parent.
EC- Luke pees and poops in the potty usually. But he does have 'misses'. Where are the misses? On me, on the carpet, on the sink, on the bathroom counter... (thankfully he's only missed twice with poop). While at first it seemed like a big deal, it's not. I just clean up and move on. Why worry?
Another thing that has made me more relaxed is baby led weaning. This is a style of starting solids that is letting the baby try what you're eating and just skipping the pureed foods all together (since he was exclusivly breastfed until 6 months and started solids at 6 months). Once they are 6 months they are ready to try most things (though we've avoided some of the typical allergenic foods). We've always gone by 'food is fun until you're one'. By not forcing Luke to eat anything and just letting him get used to new textures and tastes of food, we have eliminated the stress of 'getting him to eat'. I just don't worry when he throws his food on the floor and decides he's not going to eat. He won't do it forever. And he's little, let him have fun with food. He's getting all the nutrition from breastmilk.
Co-sleeping. Lower SIDS risk, 100 times the amount of cuddling, nursing and lying down= more sleep for mama. What else is there to say?
Another thing I've tried swear off is comparing my baby with someone else's kid. I've done a pretty good job. No baby is exactly alike. They all crawl, get teeth, sleep, and do all those things at different times. I feel no pressure when Luke doesn't do something another baby his age does. Luke will learn eventually... why stress about it? Who cares if he doesn't wave bye like the other babies (though he JUST learned and it's really cute). Maybe he just doesn't want to wave at people. He'll do things when he wants.
So, there, maybe I'm 'easy going' mom. I'll work on the rest.

Just me being a relaxed Mama.

Phone Problems

Ug, I broke my phone again. That's twice in the last month. I had my beloved Palm Centro for almost two years (with one replacement in between). I loved that phone. I let Luke hold it in the car one time when he was getting fussy and he sucked on it. Little did I know that a bunch of drool went into the charging port and killed the phone. Too much water. I was not eligible for a new phone. The very nice sprint guys told me that it would be the best deal if I could just buy a used phone on craigs list until I was eligible for a new phone. I did that. I found a Palm Pre for 200 and bought it. While that seems like a lot of money, I didn't want to pay full price for a phone at the Sprint Store. Brand new phones usually run anywhere between 400-600 dollars.
Yesterday, I was nursing Luke in the backseat of the car before we left the store. I tossed my phone up into the cup holder before I crawled to the drivers seat. I started crawling up and saw where my phone had landed. In my coffee cup, half full of coffee. DOH! I took the battery out immediately and tried to recover it. I let it dry but the touch screen is broken. What now? Well, since I used to work at sprint I have a two spare phones. One that has no charger (which is dead so unusable until I find the charger) and one that has a faulty screen every once and a while. I had no choice but to go with the faulty screen. It's a pretty little red LG phone that I used before my Palm Centro. I forgot how much I loved the phone. I mean, it's no where near as awesome as the Palm Pre, but it's such a great little phone. I'm so thankful that I have an extra phone. I don't know what I'll do now but I'm so glad I don't have to make an impulse buy today or try to track another phone down on craigslist. Even though I didn't really like my job, I'm thankful that I had extra phones lying around.
Ben is so great to me. He really is insistent on me buying another Palm Pre. He keeps saying that he wants me to have a nice phone. I use my phone a lot, especially to browse the internet while I'm nursing Luke. He's not even mad at all that I ruined my phone, what a great husband. I don't know that I can just buy a new expensive phone just yet. I'll try and see what my options are. But for now it's my little red LG and my wonderful husband.

Mothering your nursing toddler

I just bought the book "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler".
Ok, So, Luke isn't a toddler yet. I am sure this question is going to come up as his 1st birthday gets closer. Am I going to breastfeed past 1 year? Yes I am.
When I was pregnant, I just assumed that I would wean my baby at one. The more research I do, the more I'm wondering why 1 year is some magical time everyone has decided on. The AAP recommends breastfeeding for at least one year and then as long as the child and mother want to. The the World Health Organization recommends at least 2 years! They say the milk changes after one to a milk that is better for a toddler. From the website Kelly Mom there are so many wonderful benefits. Nursing toddlers benefit nutritionally, they are sick less often, they have fewer allergies, they are smart, more independence, and it's NORMAL. I thought it was normal to begin with considering no one in my mothers group has weaned at one, even though the statistics say not many mothers do. Also, benefits for the mother are delay in the return of fertility (which, if you must know, I am enjoying right now), reduces the risk of cancer(breast, ovarian, endometrial), protects against arthritis, osteoporosis, decreases insulin doses in diabetic women, AND breastfeeding women lose weight easier (I've even heard that even more comes off the second year of breastfeeding, I'll let you know). So my question is, why would I wean at one?
Looking past the 'recommendations' from others (which I feel like the more and more I do with parenting) I see my baby not ready yet. That is more important to me than the list of stuff above. I can see that weaning early would destroy this wonderful relationship that I have with Luke. I know when one year comes along, he won't be ready. I think that is more important for me to take into consideration than all the great facts and all the knowledge about it. That's how I want to be. I don't care what other people are doing with their own children, I want to do what's best for Luke for him. I don't think anyone, whether it's a well meaning friend or family member, or the AAP, I am Luke's Mom, and I know instinctively what is best for him. Too often mothers don't follow their instinct about their own children because of what they are 'supposed to do'. I am not that way. I want to have a sacrificial love for my son.

Wrapping up this Weekend

Not sure that I have anything to blog about this morning. I woke up when Ben left for work. I feel pretty rested since Luke slept really well last night and is still sleeping. Probably not for too much longer though. Ben brought me toast and coffee in bed so now I am wide awake :)
I love waking up early. I have always been a morning person. You might think it's because I love coffee. I think coffee adds to the fun of being up to see a new day. I get more done when I wake up early. I can wake up, pray with out disruption, watch the news/blog/drink coffee all while Luke is sleeping away in my arms, or in this case he is still lying in our bed. It's just a little ME time and I like that.
This weekend we spent getting ready to put our house on the market. We packed up A LOT of clutter in to boxes that were put in the garage. We turned Luke's 'nursery' into a regular guest room. I guess it wasn't that big of feat considering we sleep with Luke and took down the crib months ago. The crib was in our room anyway. So basically we just removed the diaper table, got rid of a huge dresser and organized all of Luke's clothes into the closet. It looks clutter free. In our room, we de clutterized, moved some things into the garage and if I could just finish our last load of laundry we just might be done in here too.
Our yard needs some work. I think I will plant some flowers this week, Luke willing. I am debating on asking my dad to help me a little when he is up here this coming weekend. I'm not sure if he would rather just relax, or would be interested in helping us think about our yard. My dad is really good at outside yard projects. He has a green thumb and he really knows how to make flower beds and build anything out of cement blocks. Maybe he can come up with some ideas? Now that I am thinking of all of this, maybe I should call him. Oh, 730 might be a wee bit early.
We are still probably a few weeks out on completely having the house ready to put on the market. I'm not sure if I believe that we are really trying to move. I guess it will really set in when we actually put the house up for sale. Or maybe it will set in when we have to move out of here. Or maybe it will set in when I'm actually in Newberg? For now, I'm just trying to live in the moment.

our room, pictures taken from bed



picture of 'nursery'

Diaper Free Baby

I just got back from my first Diaper Free Baby/ Elimination Communication meeting. I have always wanted to go. Today was a membership drive. They took Luke's picture while he was sitting on his potty for a book. The book is pictures of other babies on their pottys.
We started EC when Luke was 3 months. I had never heard of pottying a baby until Ben had told me that he saw it on the news when he was a kid. Ben was always interested in EC for when he had kids. I never actually believed it would work until I met a neighbor who was ECing her boy as well. She said she's had a great time doing it and success. I thought, what the heck, I'll try it. I mean the worst that would happen is that I would just do the regular diaper thing like I was already doing.
For those of you who don't know, EC is basically learning the signs and cues of your baby of when they have to potty and then taking them to the potty. The first step is to observe when they pee/poop and make a cue noise such as 'ssss'. Then once you get their signs and timing down you start taking them over the potty and cue-ing them. Many people think that it is 'early potty training', but that's not it at all. It's listening to your baby's signs and signals that he has to eliminate.
For us, EC has been going really well. Luke pretty much goes in the potty most of the time with some off days mixed in there. It's so amazing that babies give signals. I love feeling so tuned into Luke that I can take him to the bathroom. I can also tell that he hates being in a wet diaper and will almost never poop in one (unless I miss his signs which happens on occasion).
It's great living down the street to a mom who also does EC. It's nice to see how a EC child grows up and transitions to being fully independent pottying. I am excited to see how Luke will gradually do more of it on his own. But for now, just being in tune with him is great. Babies are just so smart.

The meeting was all the way in NE Portland. Usually Luke doesn't like longer car rides but I think he is actually tolerating longer trips now(thankgoodness). I was so proud of him for being happy all the way to the meeting and then coming home. We didn't even have to stop at all!

I love watching Luke grow up. He amazes me every day.

The Office

Tonight on 'The Office' Jim and Pam are going to have their baby. While it probably isn't that meaningful to anyone else it brings back a lot of memories for me.
With Luke I was due May 13th. Since neither Ben or I had a job during that time we were home together all the time. During the week of my due date, I was really big and so tired. We decided just to take it easy, rest, and take some walks to try to go into labor. We looked on hulu to find TV shows, since I'm not too into movies, and we found 'The Office'. We watched a couple from Season 5. They only posted 5 at a time so we were totally lost on what was going on. But, thankfully, Ben has netflix so we looked around at some movies and tv shows and we found all 4 seasons of 'The Office'. I was so excited. So, there went the entire week. We watched every single episode. I mean, we would watch one, then we wanted to see what happened in the next one so we just continually watched and watched and watched. We finally finished with all of the first four seasons and still no baby. At that point I was a few days overdue and pretty bummed since we had finished all the epsiodes. So we watched them all again haha since we both had missed some stuff. Still, no Luke. We were also watching the season 5 reruns on hulu when they cycled them through each week. Then we looked at the TV schedule and on the thursday they just happened to be playing a re-run of Season 5 that we were waiting to see. Sure enough, that Thursday afternoon I went into labor. I labored at home for quite a while but we ended up having to go to the hospital right before the show started at 9pm at night. So we missed it, *sigh*.
When we brought Luke home we would watch episodes at night when we had to wake up to feed him and stuff. They were about 20 minutes without commercials so that was just about the amount of time it took to change diapers and nurse Luke. We honestly thought he would associate 'The Office' theme song to eating. Thankfully he didn't but we were pretty convinced for a while.
We finally got all caught up on the episodes and we are excited to watch Jim and Pam have a baby. It's amazing how a show brings back so many memories. I can't believe it's really been 9 and 1/2 months.


Me in labor before Luke was born and Luke just after he was born.

Swimming and doing things one handed with a baby

Luke and I usually go swimming on Wednesday morning with some other moms and their babies. Today, Luke got his first scrape with blood. We were in the kid pool and there is an island thing that the kids can walk around. It is just about at Luke's height to cruise around. He was half in my arms and half trying to climb and stand up and grab the wall when he hit his chin on the side. He fussed a little but then was fine. The other mom I was with noticed that he had some blood on his chin. Sure enough, he scraped himself when he hit! I took him to this bathroom by the side of the pool. I tried to hold a piece of tissue to his face to try and stop the bleeding, which is hard to do on a 9 month old. The bleeding finally stopped (it wasn't that much). Then I decided that he was probably not going to make it much longer in the pool so I grabbed our stuff and headed back into the family locker rooms but they were full. I decided it would just be easier to go back to the small bathroom I was in before and just change. Luke was starting to get a little fussy. I knew he needed to nurse. I started taking his swim suit off to put his diaper back on and he really wasn't having it. He was HUNGRY and now starting to cry. What do I do, What do I do? This bathroom was small. It's a one person bathroom with a toilet, sink and a pull down changing table. The bathroom was like really not good for changing myself and a baby. There was no place to sit but the toilet and there were no hooks or anything to hang our stuff. So Luke started really wanting to nurse so just I threw my towel down on the ground (sick I know) and sat down and pulled my swimsuit down and nursed him. Yes, I was literally sitting on the floor of a public bathroom breastfeeding my baby. lol.
After a while I was starting to worry since it's not really a changing room, I wanted to get out as soon as possible. How was I going to change myself and get out AND nurse Luke, is this possible? Well it turns out it is. I one handed-ly took my swim suit off and put on all my clothes with one hand, while nursing and holding Luke in the other hand. Then I threw a towel around Luke and my body to cover up, still nursing, and got our stuff and went and sat on one of the chairs by the pool to finish nursing so we could go home. Boy, was that hard. When Luke was 2 months old, I could hardly even nurse him anywhere else but the computer chair in my room. Now I'm so good at multi-tasking-nursing, I was so proud of myself
On the way home from swimming I decided to get Usa and I some coffee at New Seasons. Luke is passed out at this point. So with a sleeping baby in hand I ordered two coffee's, took them one at a time to the car. First I put Usa's americano in the car, then I went back into the store with my reusable grocery bag, got something to eat, put the food in the bag, grabbed the other coffee, paid for my stuff and went back to the car... all while holding Luke.
I'm so good. It's so amazing how good we get at adapting to life with a little one.

Coffee is an Addiction.

I have this dilemma every day after already having 2 cups of french press coffee, should I have another cup?
I can't live without coffee. Well, I say that loosely, I probably could live with out it, but why would I want to? Coffee makes everything better.

I open my eyes in the morning, my head hurts from lack of sleep. My eyes are crusty. My throat is a little horse. Coffee.
It's 9 am and I really need to do a load of laundry or Luke won't have any diapers for the rest of the day. Coffee.
Luke peed on the floor and I have to clean it up. Coffee.
It's cold because I have the door to the garage open so Pickle can roam in and out. My toes are freezing but I can't get up because Luke is sleeping on me while I'm sitting on the couch. What can warm me up? Coffee.
I look at the clock and there's still an hour till Ben gets home. The house is a mess. Dinner isn't started. Pickle is meowing. Luke is jumping out of my arms at everything. Coffee.
Thinking about starting to pack our stuff to get the house ready to sell. Coffee.
Getting ready for the day. Coffee

There isn't really a scenario where I think coffee isn't a good idea. Maybe getting ready for bed wouldn't be an appropriate time for coffee. But anytime before 6pm there is always at least a small need for coffee. I guess I'm addicted.



This is how I have coffee. You must have a French Press. I grind my coffee beans RIGHT before I make the coffee. I grind about4 Tablespoons in a grinder then transfer it to the press. I pour hot water from my insta-hot (which, yes, we got for coffee). Stir the grounds and hot water. Put the lid of the french press on and wait 4 minutes. It is coffee BLISS.
What am I drinking now? New Seasons french roast.
What # cup of coffee am I on as I'm writing? 3 :)

Update

Two posts in one day. I have to catch up.

Luke is 9 months.
-he is crawling and standing on his own

Ben got hired permanently at his job~ now we're planning on selling our house to move closer to his job.

I am still a stay at home mom and loving every minute of it. There are so many challenges but its been really fun.

Pickle is sleeping right next to me as I update my blog.

Sleep, not last night. Due to Exercise?

Last night I couldn't sleep. I was awake from 2 o'clock on. I got a few minutes of on and off sleep but I think I was more less awake the whole time. Usually, I don't sleep because Luke wants to nurse all night or rolls around (because of teething, being sick, etc). But last night, it was all me. I guess the temperature was wrong and I think I'm already starting allergies and my nose itched. I have noticed lately that I have had nights like this... I wake up to nurse Luke then he goes back to sleep and I can't seem to get back to sleep for several hours.
I am wondering if it is lack of exercise? The last few weeks I have been off and on a cold so I have not kept up on my daily exercise. This last week, I only walked two times for two miles carrying Luke. On those nights, I sleep very well. Coincidence?
Before I got a cold I was doing Tabatas when Ben got home from work. They are a high intensity interval training. You pick an exercise, burpees, jumping jacks, etc then you do that exercise for 20 seconds at a high intensity and then rest for 10 seconds. You do that for 4 minutes. I picked 4 exercises so that equals 16 minutes of high intensity. It was great.
Now, since it's been sunny more often, I am thinking about starting running again. I can't decide if I want to run with Luke in the stroller or just wait for Ben to get home and go on my own. Once it gets light out, I will go on my own. But I just hate putting Luke into a stroller. He feels so far away and I don't know if he likes it very much. Maybe I'll try it again sometime. I hope to get back into running before I get pregnant again some day :)