Friday, March 12, 2010

Easy Going

This is the best 'easy going' picture I could find. It was taken two years ago in Hawaii. This was definitely pre-Luke.

I have had two people in the last week tell me that I'm 'easy going'. My first instinct is to laugh when they say that. When I told Ben about this and asked if he thought I was easy going he said 'you are if everything is going the way you want it'. LOL! I mean, I consider myself easy going to a certain point. I think Ben is easy going. He is easy to talk to, not too rattled when plans change, goes with whatever comes his way, is open to many suggestions, doesn't like to argue, etc etc. That is easy going. I hate when plans change. I like suggestions but only if they are what I want to hear. I like a good argument. I am not that easy going. But there's a different part of easy going too. I don't care too much about 'looking good'. I'm not very aesthetic (is that the right word?). I don't notice details so usually I don't care about what color something is... or if these shoes look good with this outfit... or the paint in our house. I guess I don't fret or think about those things, so maybe that is more easy going.
I think maybe I have become a lot less worried. For some reason, I think I have stopped all the worrying almost all together. This is what I do when I feel worried about something. I think of THE WORST possible scenario... figure out how I would deal with it then I move on. Lately, that has really been working. For example, I forget extra clothes or something for Luke. What's the worst that can happen? I'm out and I have to go to a store and buy him something. Is that so bad? Or, Luke doesn't really like car rides all that much so I always think 'what if I can't make it home because he's too upset'. Oh well, I'll just pull over and have coffee somewhere. It's never the end of the world with anything.
So maybe they find that I'm easy going with Mothering? I would agree with that. There are several things that I think make me a relaxed parent.
EC- Luke pees and poops in the potty usually. But he does have 'misses'. Where are the misses? On me, on the carpet, on the sink, on the bathroom counter... (thankfully he's only missed twice with poop). While at first it seemed like a big deal, it's not. I just clean up and move on. Why worry?
Another thing that has made me more relaxed is baby led weaning. This is a style of starting solids that is letting the baby try what you're eating and just skipping the pureed foods all together (since he was exclusivly breastfed until 6 months and started solids at 6 months). Once they are 6 months they are ready to try most things (though we've avoided some of the typical allergenic foods). We've always gone by 'food is fun until you're one'. By not forcing Luke to eat anything and just letting him get used to new textures and tastes of food, we have eliminated the stress of 'getting him to eat'. I just don't worry when he throws his food on the floor and decides he's not going to eat. He won't do it forever. And he's little, let him have fun with food. He's getting all the nutrition from breastmilk.
Co-sleeping. Lower SIDS risk, 100 times the amount of cuddling, nursing and lying down= more sleep for mama. What else is there to say?
Another thing I've tried swear off is comparing my baby with someone else's kid. I've done a pretty good job. No baby is exactly alike. They all crawl, get teeth, sleep, and do all those things at different times. I feel no pressure when Luke doesn't do something another baby his age does. Luke will learn eventually... why stress about it? Who cares if he doesn't wave bye like the other babies (though he JUST learned and it's really cute). Maybe he just doesn't want to wave at people. He'll do things when he wants.
So, there, maybe I'm 'easy going' mom. I'll work on the rest.

Just me being a relaxed Mama.


Lisa C said...

I consider myself easy-going, but I think I'm more go-with-the-flow. I ride with the bumps, but I definitely have my "moments." lol And I can be really particular, too. Phillip used to call me Goldilocks because I needed everything just right.

When it comes to parenting, I'm both. Some issues I take seriously (like breastfeeding, SIDS, wearing the right shoes...because I want him to be healthy), but when it comes to stuff there is no point in worrying about, I'm much more relaxed. And I totally with you about EC, co-sleeping, and baby-led weaning helping you be easy going about parenting. I mean, if you can laugh about poop on the floor, then you are definitely not too uptight!

Pickle said...

yeah! I agree with you, there's somethings to be paricular about but like you said it's nice to be more relaxed about the other stuff...otherwise I'd be so uptight!!
I used to worry a lot (before Luke) about stuff that didn't matter, so it's just weird to hear someone tell me 'you're so easy going' :)

Lisa C said...

I forgot to mention...I'm so gland you included that BLW link. That's a new one, as the book is fairly new, and I hadn't been to that site before.

Pickle said...

I like it too. Ben and I actually got the ebook so we could read about because we had lots of questions. It's pretty good!